2What Are Personal Boundaries?
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A boundary is nothing but taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions. Most often we find ourselves taking responsibility of not only ours but also other people’s emotions and actions as well. This is where the problem crops up. A boundary is a line where you end and the other person begins. Personal boundaries are the limits we set in relationships that help us safeguard our mental and physical health.
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3Why is Setting Boundaries Important?
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Setting boundaries is perceived in different ways by different people. In romantic relationships, it is expected that the other person should be available at all times, should offer solutions to all issues, be willing to go to any lengths, spend every waking minute together, does not need to have a life other than this relationship etc. It is felt that setting boundaries destroy the spontaneity and love in relationships.
Most people worry about who sets the rules? Can it change or will it remain fixed? Do both partners need to adhere to the rules or only one? Who would be that person and why? Would this give one partner an upper hand in the relationship?
All healthy relationships thrive on well-drawn boundaries. When a boundary is set carefully after taking into account both the partners interests, likes and dislikes, the relationship becomes more rich and fulfilling. It is important to ask for certain permissions, respect the feelings of the other person, express gratitude and accept the differences. It is crucial to set boundaries in romantic relationships as the partners tread in each other's intimate spaces such as emotional, physical, spiritual etc. When boundaries are clearly defined and respected by both people, the need to build walls around themselves and be on guard all the time does not arise.
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