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Psychologists Want To Redefine 'Infidelity' To Save Relationships

By Stephen Woods, 30 January 2018


Those who are in a relationship would agree that at some point, we are either engaged in infidelity or we become its victim. It has turned out to be a primary cause of breakups and divorce. On top of it, this affair is either with a long-term acquaintance, a friend or a co-worker. It is rarely a random stranger.

The idea of monogamy or confining your sexual relationship to only one partner is what triggers infidelity. Hence, psychologists say that we should redefine infidelity if we want to save our relationships. According to a Psychology Professor at the University of New Brunswick, Canada, our universal understanding of infidelity has led to making cheating a deal breaker if you are in a relationship. Yes, monogamy is extremely hard to maintain but if a couple wants their relationship lasts for a long time and survive such incidents, then they should have a conversation about what in their opinion monogamy and infidelity is.

We live in a highly technological world. You don’t really have to be seeing someone to be an infidel, it can start with a simple text message and turn your world upside down. Infidelity is an individual interpretation of each of us. You have to draw the lines on your own. Sleeping with someone is no longer a sufficient definition of cheating.

What if you are simply fantasizing about a celebrity lover? Is that being unfaithful too? Not really! If only we communicate with our partners better and we are more understanding of each other, we and our relationship can grow.

Psychologists Want to Redefine 'Infidelity' to Save Relationships

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#How to Protect Your Relationship?

Here are some steps we can take to make our relationship stronger and even save it from infidelity:

1Sit and talk to your partner

If you are being attracted to someone other than your partner instead of hiding it, you should let them know so that together, you can come up with a solution to this problem. Ask your partner questions like:

  • Is it possible that you spend a lifetime with one person without ever being attracted to someone else?
  • Can you both admit that you may not always be able to meet each other’s needs?
  • Is talking to your ex cheating in the eyes of your partner?

With questions like these, you can keep everything in your relationship black and white. If you can easily communicate with each other, it can actually save your relationship from falling in the hands of infidelity.

Sit and talk to your partner

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2Make sure you are on the same page


When it comes to the standards of monogamy, you need to hear your partner’s perspective and let them know yours too. A couple should define what is betrayal or an act of dishonesty in their eyes. If a couple has talked about this or planned everything ahead of time, they can cut the turbulence that usually follows if one of the partners actually encounters an intimate moment.

Make sure you are on the same page

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3Have Agreements

Like mentioned before, each partner has a different view on what constitutes an emotional affair and if that qualifies as cheating. To get rid of the misunderstanding, have explicit agreements. These agreements should clearly cover how to handle advances, what information should be shared (for instance, how often are you attracted to others) and how quickly you should tell each other about a romantic experience, even if some other person was trying to flirt with you.

Have Agreements

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