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13 Ways to Cope with Loving Someone You Can’t Have nor Let Go

By Andrew Alpin, 14 July


People often say that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but whoever said that clearly doesn’t know what they’re talking about. They probably have never experienced head over heels in love with someone they knew they could never be with. So, how does loving someone you can’t have or let go feel like? Many people are in this situation, but to love someone and not be able to be with them is too much.

As you try to hide your feelings from this person, it gets harder and harder to be around them. You do everything you can to hide how you feel, but you can’t help but hope they do too. So, you’d rather have them in your life in some way than not have them at all. Here are some ways to deal with emotional attachment if you find yourself in this situation.

1 Don’t contact them too often

Some people can’t imagine life without them, while others want to avoid them to ease the pain. What you should do depends on how you feel and where you are in your life. The best thing to do is to avoid them and leave. Suppose they become available or interested in you one day. In that case, you might be able to think about how you feel about them again. If not, don’t let yourself think about things that hurt you.

Don’t contact them too often

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2 Stop pretending you’re okay

You don’t have to act like you’re fine if you’re not. If this pain has been going on for months or even years, it can be very tiring. You no longer have to put on a fake smile. If something hurts you, tell them. For example, you should decline if you’re in love with a friend who wants to take you shopping so that he can pick out a ring to propose to his girlfriend. Don’t put yourself in places where your feelings will be hurt. Turn down the invite and tell them why.

Stop pretending you’re okay

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3 Avoid situations that will hurt you


When you know the person you like will be at a certain place, you should try to stay away from it. If you go anyway, it’s like killing yourself emotionally. Just say no to any invitations where they will be there as well. You could binge-watch a new show or go on a date with someone whose heart is open to you to take your mind off things.

Avoid situations that will hurt you

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4 Avoid them on social media without blocking or unfriending them

There are limits and restrictions on your social media accounts for a reason. You can take a break from someone on Facebook without getting rid of them as friends. The last thing you want to see on your feed is their posts when you’re trying to deal with your feelings.

This is especially true if they brag about how much they love their partner online. It’s hard to love someone but not have them, but you don’t have to follow their path to happiness if it doesn’t include you. You can ignore their posts or make it hard for them to see what’s on your feed. You’ll be glad you did this, especially when you won’t have to remember how bad it hurt every time they post. Checking on someone you care about on social media can become a habit, so it’s best to stop making your pain worse. Besides, they don’t have to know everything that’s happening in your life either.

Avoid them on social media without blocking or unfriending them

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