Gone are days when all financial decisions were taken by the man, with women education and empowerment a wife exerts full say in the financial matters of the family. There are couples who constantly disagree on the investments decisions. If the wife is earning more than the husband then the male ego is hurt specially if poked by the society. There are men who demand money from their wives for their needs and women who just can’t stop shopping giving stress to their husbands to earn more. If demands are not fulfilled then daily nagging and venting out frustration becomes a part of life. Whatever will be the topic of discussion, each day, Julie somehow turned it towards her husband’s inability to buy a luxurious apartment. Her husband started feeling inferior and stopped talking to all his friends who had luxurious apartments. The topic of real estate gave him jitters. He somewhere repented his decision of marrying Julie.
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Jacob had an extravagant lifestyle. When he married, he thought Susie being a modern girl will adjust to his lifestyle of partying, drinking and free mixing with sexes but she turned out to be an educated strong lady bent towards spirituality. Jacob tried to change her but she having her own mindset did not mend. On the other side, Susie tried to change Jacob but he was not ready to give up on his lavish and fun-loving lifestyle. This created trouble between them. There are couples who are ashamed to go out or introduce their partners, find it difficult to talk to each other due to constant difference in opinions, are not physically attracted to each other leading to sexual dissatisfaction, have no common interests, are different personalities, do not respect others views, are constantly trying to change the other, are not supportive to others needs, have high level of ego that hurts easily, do not respect partners parents and family. Happiness is far away from such couples.
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A partner after marriage gives up on the certain aspects of previous life but may have personal interest and pursuits that do not involve the other. Strong marriages include intentional focus on unity but also a degree of separateness which is not selfish but mutual freedom to keep the marriage sound. It involves allowing your partner to cultivate friendships, pursue interests and grow as a person. But if restriction is laid upon personal freedom then frustration in relationship is bound to happen. Ruby a university topper struggled for years to convince her husband to go out and work. He threatened to divorce her if she stepped outside home for work.
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Being with a person addicted to alcohol or drugs means dealing with the person’s irrational behavior, sickness, lying, cheating and unacceptable social behavior. It becomes painful for the spouse to see the partner finally go down the tubes. There are other types of addiction like gaming, shopping, sex, food which affects the relationship and also finances negatively. Some of the couples divorce, some live with the issue for the rest of their lives while very few enjoy recovery and lead a happy life. There are spouses who force their partners to drink along with them turning them to alcoholism. There are around 29.5 million drug addicts and 240 million people dependent on alcohol worldwide as reported by the World Drug Report 2017 and WHO. Addicts fail to meet family and social commitments as a result the spouse suffers the most.
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