The unexpected reason why people actually fall in love

By Afsana Khatoon, 10 September 2017

Love and romance has existed in some form or the other since the beginning of time and has often originated from the most unlikeliest of places and in the most unexpected situations.

1Love amidst Violence

Everything in life is built on what precedes. They can be a result of an 'opposite reaction' or a form of 'change'. Ackerman has pointed out that science of love and its origins has concentrated largely on the negative aspects of life, underestimating the most astonishing marvels of all, which is 'Love'. Humans have done innumerable researches on events and negative concepts like that of war, power, politics, prejudices, evil and hatred. All these have interested scientists and sociologists in general. But, what they miss is the fact that the absence of love is what has caused such negativities. All things that are perceived to be filled with suspense and thrill, it is the mystery of love that surpasses all.

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Leo Tolstoy's novel 'War & Peace', which is one of the greatest historical and literary works, associated with clever strategic thinking, emphasises consistently, the meaninglessness and irrationality that drives human behaviour in war and peace. What rejuvenates the novel and the lives of the main characters, is love between Mary & Nicholas and Natasha & Pierre. It is totally unexpected by the readers but strongly proves to be a mysterious and powerful force that motivates human lives.

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2Divine Love

"Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself."- Kahlil Gibran. Plato's Symposium explains how love originated and evolved both physically and spiritually. The Greeks have differentiated the word "love" in four forms kinship, platonic, romantic or physical desire and divine love. Eros is explained as love that can transcend its origins of the earth and attain spirituality. Divine love is the purest form. It enlightens the soul. It vanquishes a person's fear of death and frees the soul from the materialistic world making love the brilliant white light of divine emotion.

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3Physical Love

It is believed that love first started as a physical phenomenon, reeling us back to our primates, 60 million years ago. An expert on love named, Helen Fisher, classifies love into three stages-attraction, lust and attachment. Romantic attraction leads to physical desire that motivates build a relationship and attachment, that involves getting married, sharing a home, raising children and mutual security. Physicalists believe that love is that physical impulse that directs us to a potential partner or object for physical gratification.

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4Science of Love

Too many butterflies in your stomach? Your heart knocking out your ribs when you think of or see that very person? Modern studies and research in neuroscience have shown that when you are in love, your brain releases certain chemicals, hormones and the neurotransmitters stimulate the "pleasure center" of your brain. Those inexplicable strange sensations are the side effects of it. Inability to sleep, loss of appetite are other effects. So now you know, it also takes a thinking brain and your mind to know you are in love with someone. The heart feels all the heavy sensations because it pumps blood and beats faster than usual because of the brain's chemical releases.

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5Hostile Love

In the long history and origination of love is has become a necessary vulnerability. Karen Horney, a psychologist say that love is overestimated. In terms of "monogamous ideal", it leads to disillusionment. It makes your partner want to escape. The possessiveness causes a friction and results in unhappiness and alienation. This leads people to find love outside marriage. Thus, love broadly is the ultimate motivator of interpersonal relationships. Though darker in many ways it is central to our survival and our lives.

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