7 Signs People Show in Their Adult Lives if They Were Not Loved in Childhood

By Nitin Bhatnagar, 4 June 2018

Becoming a parent indeed brings the moments of joy in your life but at the same time, it also defines the need for you to be more responsible and caring. Your duty towards the kid is not just about fulfilling their basic needs of food, shelter and hygiene but it also includes love and emotional support.

Early childhood experiences rapid changes in a kid’s brain; in fact the process known as myelination which is about forming of brain’s neurons is 80% completed by the age of four. The scientists also claim that 95% behavior of a human is guided by the human subconscious and this subconscious get developed during the first six years after birth.

Importance of brain development in childhood

It is implicit that brain development is necessary for a good adult life; however, brain can’t get developed properly if a child is not brought up, loved and nurtured well. There is a direct correlation between the brain development of a child and how his personality gets shaped, so do remember that your kid needs your time as well other than the facilities provided by you.

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What happens to those kids who don’t get proper attention and love?

Unfortunately, there are many kids in this world who don’t get required attention, love and support from their parents and hence their brains are not well developed, the result of which is clearly visible in their behavior as adults. Parents may not devote ample time to their kids for various reasons such as busy or hectic work schedules, troubled personal relations, etc.

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The kids who are deprived of love and affection tend to show these characteristics in their behavior as adults:

1Mental health issues

It has been seen that majority of the unloved kids suffer from a number of mental health issues. The two most common problems faced by such people are depression and anxiety and the chances of an adult suffering from these issues increase if he had been neglected during his childhood.

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2Trust issues

The sense of trust gets developed in kids only if they have enjoyed a stable relationship with their parents and people around them live in a peaceful and calm environment. The trust issues are experienced by those people who have seen instances in which a person gets betrayed or the relationships are flickering in nature.

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3Fear of getting failed

The kids who are brought up in a negative environment tend to suffer from the feeling of getting failed as they are not confident and have low self-esteem. They are afraid of taking initiatives and making decisions about their future as the fright of failure is instilled inside their hearts and they feel that they are made to be failed.

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4Too much sensitive

There are times when people make fun of you but in a good manner and you also do the same whenever you get the chance. But the unloved kids take everything on their hearts and feel bad even if the joke was cracked in a good sense. This happens because they have never seen an atmosphere in which people laugh at each other’s follies and enjoy the moment. The unloved kids grow into adults who are very sensitive and because of this, they find it difficult to make friends.

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5Insecure about everything

Individuals who have troubled childhood always feel insecure, whether it is about relationship, job or anything else. This insecurity makes them desperate to hold on to everything that they have in life and as a result, they try very hard unnecessarily but end up losing more than what they get.

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6Attachment Disorders

Attachment disorder is also one of the problems such people face and because of this, they find it highly difficult to form a long lasting relationship. They completely lack the capability of loving others and do not know how to have faith in someone. This leaves them in a situation where they find themselves dejected and lonely.

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7Poor understanding of people

The kids who are neglected in childhood become unresponsive to others as they grow up. They become passive and are not able to understand what the other person wants from them. It may appear that they are suffering from autism but in reality, this is not the case and it’s just their troubled childhood that is having an adverse effect on them.

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Here are some steps that parents should follow so that their kids’ lives do not get spoiled:

8Express love and affection

Try to express love and affection for your kid on a daily basis so that he feels important and happy. Usually, people love children but they don’t express it, thinking that it might spoil the kid. They also don’t like to be friendly with kids as there is an assumption that in such case, the children will stop giving respect to parents. However, the truth is that a kid will respect his parents more if he feels more connected with them.

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9Praise your kid

Be generous while praising your child even if he has won a consolation prize in any competition because it motivates him to perform better next time. Appreciation will have a great positive effect on the kid and will boost his confidence to a great extent which will lead to better results in the future.

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10Be emotionally mature

It is the duty of parents to create a positive and calm atmosphere inside the house so that kids get an environment which is helpful for brain’s development. Additionally, parents should make sure that they don’t behave in a manner which frightens children and instills fear in their minds because it will make them emotionally weak.

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11Behave sensibly

Even if a person is feeling upset or annoying, he should make sure that this type of behavior is not exhibited in front of a kid as it may have an adverse effect on his mindset. Parents should be careful not to talk about their problems in front of the kid as he is not mature enough to understand them and it may unnecessarily pressurize his mindset.

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12Counseling

There is nothing bad or shameful in going to the experts and asking them how to raise kids if the parents are having some problem and are not able to find a solution to it. Talking to experts will further increase their knowledge and result in a better situation for both parents and kids.

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13The crux of the matter

Every parent has a different way of showing love to his/her kid but what matters is that love should be expressed irrespective of the manner as it is very important for the child’s proper brain development. Parents should never make the mistake of neglecting or ignoring their children as parents are the world’s most important persons for them and any kind of negative behavior from the parents can hurt the children badly.

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