Bullying has been something that has troubled our youth for a long time. Unfortunately, with the growth of the Internet and Social Media sites, the possibilities for this to happen to a child has increased tremendously. Most children that are going through this won't always ask for help. Unless you know the warning signs of bullying your child could be crying for help and you might not even know it. With these red flags, you should be able to tell if your child is going through something or not. Now keep in mind not all the time do these mean your child is being bullied but it is always good to be on top of things so you know and are aware of any changes they may be going through.
Is your child suddenly coming home from school with unexplainable bruises and marks on their body? If so you might want to question them further and probe and see if they will open up to you. Children are fearful when admitting to the fact they are being bullied for fearful retaliation. You might want to consider visiting your child’s school during recess and lunch unannounced to see what is exactly going on. If it does turn out that your child is being victimized, then it’s time to speak to the school administration which should include a meeting with the teacher and counselor so that you can get the issue resolved.
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Another telltale sign that your child is being bullied is suddenly they lose phones, headsets and other expensive electronic devices without any explanation. We all know kids lose stuff and most of the time they will tell us that is what happened. However, if your child says they lost an expensive item say for example an iPhone but really don’t have any recollection as to where it went or what happened then that is definitely a red flag. Most bullies will use these types of tactics threatening the child to harm them if they don’t give up that nice new device that they wish they could have. In fact, studies have shown that 27.3% of students have had their items stolen by their bully.
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Now just because your child is on their computer or electronic device doesn’t always mean they are a victim. However, if your child suddenly closes their phone or gets upset when you ask why they’re on the computer or another device so long then you might want to research this. Did you know that 9% of children in grades 6-12 have experienced cyberbullying? This is quite common where the bully uses the internet and social media to taunt their victims and make fun of them often ostracizing them from the rest of their social circle. Know the signs so that you can help your child. A best practice is to set up guidelines for online and internet usage so that you can monitor and see what is going on. In fact, many of these platforms have settings that you can implement to monitor your child and their activity online.
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Another common factor amongst bullied children is the unease they experience when it is time to go to school. If your child is suddenly asking your permission to stay home saying they have a headache or upset stomach and you notice it is happening frequently then this could be a big indicator of something brewing in your child’s social and school life. Another thing to keep in mind is if your child is suddenly sick every Monday that is something you want to consider as well. Children that are being bullied are often wanting to stay home on Monday as they dread returning to school and seeing their bully. One way you could confront this issue is to take your child to the doctor since they are saying they are sick and just explain to your physician your concerns. Sometimes children will open up to the family doctor.
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If suddenly you notice that your child’s network of friends has changed then this could also be an indicator of some changes. Often the bully will isolate the child from their social network by calling names, gossiping or saying things that just aren’t true. This is especially true with girls. If there is one that is running the group or network circle they will say or make the child do things to remain accepted and if they don’t then the name calling and other lies begin. This can be quite destructive to a young child’s developing mind and behavior. As children enter middle and high school this type of action can increase tremendously. If your child’s entire group of friends has changed or is basically non-existent than it is definitely time to meet with the school or even contact your child’s friends’ parents to see if they noticed anything too.
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Changes in eating habits can mean many things however if it is consistently occurring when they arrive home from school then this might also be a clear indicator of bullying. Examples may include your child is always hungry when they come home from school versus on the weekend this doesn’t seem to occur. Bullies will use any weakness they can on a child and will taunt them by stealing their food or ridiculing them in front of others so that they don’t’ feel comfortable enough to eat with their peers. You might want to spend some time with your child at school during lunch if you experience this or see if your child ’s school has a bullying program or buddy system. Most schools have these in place and it is a best practice to ask if you see these behaviors. Often times if you stop the behavior early you can put an end before any significant damage is done.
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Children that are victims of Bullying often have disrupted sleep patterns. They will have a very hard time sleeping and seem really anxious when trying to rest. Anytime you see anything like this it is definitely a red flag you want to have investigated right away. If you notice this then you definitely want to consult your family physician for assistance.
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If you bring up school and find that your child starts crying or gets really nervous when this conversation is brought up, then it is definitely time to investigate the situation further. Furthermore, in the case of high school students if you find your teenager gets more upset especially as the weekend approaches then it is time to speak to them about it. They are definitely hiding something that is going on.
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This also can be a clear indication that something is brewing in your child’s life that you need to be aware of. Behaviors you might observe is they go straight to their bedroom when coming home from school not wanting to talk about how their day went or even lashing out at their siblings. This is especially true if your child has never displayed these behaviors in the past.
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If you recently transferred to a new neighborhood school and your child is the new kid this can also leave them prone to bullying. You might want to see what support systems the school has in place for new students. Examples include a buddy system or Peer Mediation for example. These types of programs ensure that your youngster will be accepted and not bothered by bullies. A best practice would be to visit a school before transferring your child to see the environment and what supports are in place for children who are being bullied. Most schools these days do have such programs in place however it is also best to observe for yourself so you can see firsthand how the school operates.
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If all the sudden you notice your child is running away from school or in the case of older students especially as they approach middle school and high school that they aren’t attending class, then you for sure want to address this issue. Many times when this is occurring your child is either being harassed by a bully and they are trying to avoid any confrontation with them.
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If your child’s grades take a sudden plunge downward then you will know that something is disrupting their educational environment. Granted sometimes it could be something as simple as not understanding new material that is being taught. However, it is also a good practice to investigate and meet with your child’s teacher. Remember your child’s teacher is with your child all day and they would be able to provide any insight into what might be occurring in the classroom.
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Have you ever noticed that your child doesn’t want to get up for school or begins to mope around like they have no desire at all to get out the door? This could be a symptom of depression which can many times be triggered by repeated bullying attacks. Remember especially for younger children its best to stop this early in its tracks before things get out of hand.
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When children enter middle school and especially High School bullying can take on a whole new concept which can including inappropriate physical remarks from their peers. This is especially true in the Gay and Lesbian community. In fact, it has been documented that 8 out of 10 LGBT students have been sexually harassed because of their sexual orientation.
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If your child shows any of these behaviors this could be a red flag that something is clearly wrong. As children continue to be tortured by their perpetrators then their whole belief system gets knocked down. They begin to give into their dark feelings allowing things just to be as they are and not wanting to do anything about it. If a child is doing this then there needs to be action taken right away before other extreme measures take place.
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Even though these are the common factors that indicate your child is a victim of bullying it isn’t inconclusive of all the possibilities. Best bet is to stay informed and active both in your child’s school and personal life. Know their friends, have them over and see what they are about. Also be active in your child’s school. Volunteering on the School’s Home and School Association and attending any meetings and meeting with school staff regularly will definitely keep you abreast about all the things that are going on in and out of your child’s life.
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