Communicating correctly is an art, which is often undervalued, especially in relationships. When we get too comfortable with our partner, we tend to speak our minds just too freely; sometimes so freely that the other person gets hurt in the process. Although you should be free to say whatever that is in your mind and heart, but when it comes to your relationship, you should take care of a few things, or the rose of love gets stormed by thorns of badly used words. If you think you are facing some troubles in your relationship because the communication between you guys have just gone down south, then you are at the correct address here, for we are going to share with you ‘Three Golden Rules Of Communication’, to help revive your relationship.
No matter how amazingly cool you are with one another, there might still always be some problems when it comes to expressing what exactly you want from a person. And that problem, more often than not comes from the usage of negative words in your speech. When you need something from your partner, it is always a good idea that you don’t use words such as “won’t “and “don’t.” You can simply say that you would like a certain thing to be done in a certain manner than going on about how you “wouldn’t” want that thing in some manner. For example - The Bad Message: I don’t want you to control my life’s decisions. The Good Message: I want you to trust me. See, this was so simple. The same meaning; but said without the mention of a negative angle given to the message, and just as impactful.
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You would be surprised at how you can make your conversations supportive rather than argumentative just by replacing the word “but” by “and.” And although this rule seems very simple because all you need to do is change one single word, but the whole concept of changing the tone of your conversations to supportive will need some serious amount of practice from your side. But, don’t you worry, because if you are able to do that, then be rest assured that most of the arguments with your partner will simply cease to exist. Take a simple example here and you will understand what we mean: The Bad Message: I understand your point of view, but I also need you to understand me. The Good Message: I understand your point of view, and I also need you to understand me.
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When you have been in a relationship for a really long time, you know so much about each other that even giving a compliment, comes its baggage of negativity. When you find something worthy of praise, say it simply and clearly and take care to never add a negative comment or a qualifier with that statement. You are trying to say something good to your partner, so why should there be a mention of something which might not sound pleasing to your partner. Do you know there has been a study in which John Gottman, a researcher who has studied about couples for 40 years, said that for every single negative message that we tend to give out to our partner, we need to give five positive messages to erase the bad feeling. Now, will that not be too much of a hard work for you to do at a later stage? So, why take the pains, when your single compliment can give you just gains! Oh, by the way, the example for this rule is right here: The Bad Message: I’m glad that finally you gave me a gift that I like for my birthday. The Good Message: I really loved your gift. Thank You Making a relationship work needs some amount of effort from your side for sure, and when some simple rules of communication can give a boost to your efforts, then where really is the harm. Nowhere, I say, because incorporating simple changes in your speech are much better than spending huge sums on counseling or in buying gifts. A few words spoken with love will go a long way in making your relationship last long.
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