17 Psychological tips and tricks that could help you deal with negative people

By Kavita Panyam, 7 November 2017

Are you often engaged in a battle of constantly having to defend yourself to baseless insinuations? Do you feel drained when you come face to face with certain people? Negative people thrive on making others uncomfortable. They make one feel worthless and low in all aspects. They may enter your life under the guise of a well-wisher, but their speech and actions would seem contradictory. It is important to identify a friend from a foe and learn how to deal with them. We bring you some tips and tricks that could help you deal with negative people.

Do these signs seem familiar?

  1. Do some people put you down every single time?
  2. Do you find yourself giving unnecessary explanations only to be brushed aside saying they were lame excuses?
  3. Do you feel drained in the company of certain people?
  4. Do some people derive joy by putting you in the spot every time you both interact?
  5. Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with some people due to sarcasm?
  6. Do you find yourself in a pull-push relationship with someone?
  7. Do you find yourself being judged and labeled all the time?
  8. Do you find yourself being blamed for a lack despite doing your best?
  9. Do compliments seem like insults?
  10. Do they often misdirect you in your endeavors?

 

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If you have answered a yes to most questions, you must understand that you are dealing with a negative person. If you’ve answered a yes to some, this could just be the beginning. Beware!

When it comes to dealing with negative people, it becomes challenging to find a way without disturbing your peace. Well, this need not be so. With smartness and tact, you can tide over unpleasantness without wincing. The first step is to identify the motive behind their action.

Understanding their intention:

If he/she happens to be a co-worker, then competition could be the underlying reason for the hostile behavior. They might be reminded of their own failure and may want to dissuade you from success. Jealousy and envy could be other strong reasons why they resort to such behavior. Sometimes, it could just be who they are and may have nothing to do with you specifically. Their aim is to hurt people and derive joy out of it. Here are some ways you could deal with such people.

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1Avoid giving them information about your life

Let’s face it. Not everyone feels happy at someone else’s success. Though they might smile outwardly, feelings of resentment may swim internally. You must be alert, notice patterns and take the required action. The first should be to stop giving them a peep into your life and achievements. When information is withheld, there would be less number of instances.

 

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2Make it known to them

This can be done in a decent manner and need not look like a showdown. Clear communication may be a polite way of addressing this issue. You can try telling them that this kind of behavior does not go down well with you. This might garner a lukewarm response as negative people seldom listen with the idea of sorting out differences, which are created with the aim of disturbing others.

3Alter the Relationship

If the negative person is just an acquaintance, it can be easy to cut off communication with them. You may ignore their texts or calls. But when the offender is a friend or family member, it can get dicey. The best way would be to reduce the communication gradually. Start with excuses of being busy, unavailable, or meet them for just a few minutes citing something important. Take a break from the friendship or relationship to sort your life and mind.

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4See the Good in It

While interacting with negative people can bring your morale down tremendously and exhaust you no end, they can also serve as lessons to be learned. Negative people tend to attack your weak points and that is how you can begin to seal the loose ends of your life. Once you know where you lack, it becomes easy to work on repairing the area. So, take the good from it and discard the rest.

5Set Firm Boundaries

If you find someone talking negative, you may choose to either listen to it and get affected or simply cite an excuse and walk away. When you identify a pattern with a person, limit your interactions so that your peace is not affected.

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6Stay off People that complain Constantly

Listening to complaints in and out can only do you harm and maybe alter your life too. People that complain all the time, rarely do so with an aim of finding solutions, rather it is just a form of venting and bothering others. They try to gain your pity or sympathy and then begin to unload their negative stuff on you quite often. It is best to meet such people only when it is absolutely required out of you. Stay off them during other times.

7Don't Dig Deeper for Meanings

Negative people behave erratically. One moment they are cheerful, and furiously angry in the next. This may leave others quite confused and upset. It may lead you to dig deeper and overthink things that could leave you frustrated. Negative people feed off emotional people. Should you find yourself taking in their energy and worrying about them more than needed, divert your attention to something else and walk away from them.

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8Find a Support System

It may not always be possible to handle negative people by yourself. In such a case, build a support system consisting of family, friends, and colleagues around you. As they know you, it would be good to take in their inputs in dealing with negative people. Objective people can be of real help and assistance in such cases.

9Stay Positive

Your happiness and peace of mind must be the most important things in your life. When you understand this, you won’t let anything destroy it. You must distance yourself from unnecessary drama and negativity.

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10Learn not to take things personally

It is important not to take things to your heart while interacting with a negative person as his/her intention is to hurt you. When you learn to distance yourself, your peace remains intact. You must understand that the negative person sees no logic in his actions and behavior and that it has nothing to do with you, rather speaks a lot about him/her.

11Do not try to reason with them

Those who love their peace and choose harmony in their relationships may try to avoid conflicts at all costs. They try to find logic in the negative person’s actions and behavior with the aim of finding a solution. Negative people do not look for solutions as their aim to create chaos and confusion in other people’s lives. So, it is best to let them be.

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12Offer compassion Where Needed

There are exceptions everywhere and it is possible that some negative people may have a genuine reason that supports their behavior. If you know the reason or are sure about this, be compassionate towards them. It could be that they are experiencing financial, job-related, health or other personal problems in their lives. Try to offer support in such times if you are can.

13Ignore

If you don’t want to waste much time and still get away from drama and negativity, the best thing would be to ignore them. While not all are adept at this art, it can always be learned. Once the negative person feels ignored a couple of times, he/she may gradually stop targeting you. Remember, in ignoring lies peace.

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14Smile it off

Nothing irritates your opponent more than watching you smile at their attacks. If you want to get back at them, simply flash a huge smile at them, each time they attack you. Smiling also keeps you grounded without any negativity on your mind.

15Handle it Maturely

Wise people find it difficult to stoop to the level of that of a negative’s persons. They may choose to call it childish behavior and move on.

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16 Don’t Label or Judge

Do not judge or label their actions. It is best to distance yourself from negative people and not get drawn into their drama.

17Have a Goal

When you have a goal that is also your most cherished dream, you would never allow anyone to get past the boundary set by you. The drive to excel would make you oblivious to any untoward action or behavior meted out to you. So, now that you know that there are smart ways to deal with negative people, you can be sure to safeguard your peace.

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