When you think of relationships, the image of a happy couple basking in love appears in your mind. Who wouldn’t love to be a part of such a blessed relationship? But did you know that there are some important factors that should never be tolerated in an intimate relationship? Sometimes, people stay put and suffer silently in relationships as they are mostly unaware of these factors and might be under the misconception of these being normal. We have compiled a list of some such important things that are not to be tolerated in a relationship.
People tend to get rude when they are upset and angry over specific issues. Blunt behavior can be quite unappealing and should never be tolerated. Things can be communicated in a cogent manner and one need not resort to being blunt, humiliating and rude. Being blunt is often mistaken for being frank. The two are totally different things. Should you find your partner resorting to this behavior all the time, know that it is time to re-evaluate your relationship.
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When two people come together, it is quite natural to step on each other’s toes in the initial stages. While it becomes important to mold yourself to a certain extent to adjust better in the relationship, it is certainly not right if you are being asked to change yourself completely for your partner.
When you find your partner constantly insulting and belittling you, you must bring this to his/her notice. It is not right to tolerate people that use sarcasm as a weapon in their conversations. The same goes for being excessively critical of you or your work. Learn to say No to this kind of behavior so that your partner knows what is acceptable to you and what is not.
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Jealousy is an unhealthy trait in relationships and must not be tolerated. If you find your partner being jealous of your achievements or any other thing that you possess, know that the relationship is still at a superficial level. This would require you to talk things over with your partner and should you find them unrelenting, don’t hesitate to choose what’s best for you.
All relationships travel on a rocky boat at some time or the other. While it is okay to feel upset and angry for a while, it is not certainly not right to use physical violence at these times. There are some people that use violence as a natural form of reaction to situations. This should never be accepted at any cost. Tolerating any form of physical abuse is akin to being party to your own destruction.
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Competition between loved ones should never reach a point where it turns into a rivalry. Whether it is connected to the professional field or concerned with any other expertise, it is not good to compete beyond a certain point. Remember, a couple must always look in the same direction as far as possible. Even in the event of any differences coming to light, they should be resolved amicably.
Longing for physical intimacy in a romantic relationship is normal. What is not normal is when one partner tries to coerce the other into any kind of physical intimacy. The wishes of both partners must be respected.
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With both partners working, money can become cumbersome to manage. One partner might want the other to foot all bills of the month or other exorbitant demands. In the case of only one partner working, demanding the other to bring in money from their kith and kin is wrong. It is good for the couple to plan their finances together.
While it is not possible to share everything with your partner as some thoughts are personal, the ones that need your attention alone. The same may not apply to the ones that concern either your partner or the two of you. The couple must make ones point to share their deepest fears, apprehensions and insecurities or anything that the other person needs to know.
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While too much familiarity can dull the spark in a relationship, mind games can wipe out feelings of love real fast. If you find your partner asking to guess everything and enjoying your plight as he/she continues tormenting you, know that this is not right. Mystery, when dragged beyond a certain point loses its charm and turns into a mind game which is not healthy for the relationship.
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Messy partners turn people off fast. If you find your partner messy and unorganized, bring it to their notice and tell them to keep things in order.
For the smooth functioning of a home, it is important to divide the chores between both the partners. The same goes for running errands. If one partner waits for instructions and does not take the trouble to list out what needs to be done, it just goes to show that he/she does not want to stress the mind.
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Both the partners must decide together that all altercations and corrections must happen when they are by themselves and not in public places. Should any partner resort to public humiliation, he/she must be made to understand that this is not acceptable.
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When you find yourself agreeing to all demands of you partner, being made to feel guilty all the time, blamed for everything, reprimanded all the time, know that your partner is manipulating things and that this is not about you. Manipulators are mostly apathetic and selfish people that want things to happen as per their wishes.
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Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. People that lie and cheat do not care much about their partners. When your partner has been found lying and cheating on you, know that this can happen again. You must not tolerate it.
Emotional blackmail is a means of getting things done by resorting to threats. If you find your partner threatening to leave if you refuse to comply, know that you are being exploited for his/her selfish needs. You must not tolerate or accept this behavior.
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While it is alright for one partner to advise the other from time to time, it is certainly not acceptable to be dominated by them. The dominating partner forces the other to do things his/her way all the time. It is important to find a balance when it comes to taking decisions.
It is very important to set boundaries between partners so that both can get the required space to do their own stuff. They may like to use this time to pursue their hobbies or just relax and do nothing. When any partner gatecrashes with a feeling that he/she possesses this right to disturb the other partner’s “me time’’, know that this is not right.
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While it is unhealthy to demand to be together all the time as it brings about familiarity and boredom, ignoring is an entirely different thing. When a partner’s texts, calls and messages are being given the cold shoulder very often, it amounts to being ignored which is not good. Ignoring a partner gives rise to feelings of hurt, pain, anger and disappointment. This may lead to cracks being formed in the relationship.
If a partner does not want to involve you in his/her activities and you find yourself being by yourself very often, it is time to rethink about the relationship whether it is right for you or not. Being alone all the time while in a relationship is unhealthy as it can give rise to sadness and depression.
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If you find your partner being disrespectful towards you and your family (Parents and siblings), please let him/her know that this is not acceptable to you. Respect begets love in a relationship.
If you find your partner fixing up dates and entertaining people at home without consulting you, it goes to show that you are being taken for granted. If you find yourself being in the dark most of the times, know that you need to stand up for yourself. While it is not possible to feel love towards a partner all the time, it is also not right to take advantage of their goodness and unconditional love. It won’t be long before they are gone leaving you with a lot to account for.
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