A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart – Jonathan Swift
Money and Relationships don’t go together. Money matters can turn any relationship sour if not handled properly. For our feelings are intertwined with our financial position. Simple questions and actions from our side can put others in awkward situation. Our pricking or unwise words related to money can trigger negative emotions in others or put them in an awkward situation. Good manners are important to all. Unfortunately, our lifestyles have changed but our thinking towards money matters remain the same. If we do not have money etiquettes that please all then it can lead to resentment and ruining of relationships.
Earning of a person decides his social status in the society. If earning is huge then social status is high and with it comes high respect and power from the ordinary people. If earning is low then your relationships are limited to low sections in society. This very question will show the narrow-mindedness you have. Never judge a person with the salary he earns.
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It’s very rude to comment on how other people spend their money. You must have expected an expensive gift assuming your friends financial position. But you may be unaware of your friend’s true financial situation and the debts and losses they are making. Still, they gifted you what they could afford. Your comments will not only hurt your friends but also affect their attitude towards you.
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Do not criticize the extravagant expenses of your known people. Every person has a right to spend their earned money the way they want. For you, it may be an extravagant unnecessary expense but it’s their call to make. Yes, they could spend this money in a different way but your comments will make them think negative about you.
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You may be in a position to afford an expensive restaurant. But your friend may not have revealed his correct financial status to you. Your offer may encourage him to make some excuse and avoid the wonderful chance of spending time together. If you are unaware of the financial position of someone, it’s better to ask them to make a suggestion.
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Gifts that people give each other vary financially related to the degree of closeness in relationship and gifting policies of each person. Your idea of collectively gifting an expensive item may not appeal to all for your feeling may differ from others feelings towards the person. So asking everyone to shell out more money may come as an unpleasant surprise for some. It’s better to ask everyone to either contribute as per wish or jointly decide on an amount.
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You must have had the expensive cocktail at the restaurant but your friend or colleague has ordered a simple mocktail instead. There may be people in the group who did not order anything. So splitting the bill equally is not fair as everyone has not spent the same amount. It is better that each pay for the meals and drinks they had or ask the server to separate the checks.
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Pay for any professional advice you get from your lawyer or interior designer friend. You may be their good friend but relationship does not mean you start asking for discounts. People work to earn money and someone who has spent time and resources for you should be compensated. So offer money even if they do not bring it up.
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Never complain about your money crunch to buy things in front of people who earn less than you. You may be dreaming of staying in a huge flat but your cribbing about being unable to buy a 3BHK may be unpleasant for a friend who hardly manages to pay monthly rental of his flat. It is better to avoid such conversations for you may not know what financial crunch your friend is going through.
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It may happen that the dress which is appealing you bought by your friend is from an inexpensive store and that too on discount. It will be really awkward for your friend to reveal this to you. Just appreciate what she has worn. If you are really curious about its price then check online or in some store. But asking your friend can make them lie to you.
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If you have borrowed money from your friend or relative and promised to repay on a certain day then keep this deadline in mind. The amount may be small or large but ones money is dearer to all. People give loans to near and dear ones because of their trust in a relationship. And if you forget to repay then you are breaching that trust. Next time the person will be careful before helping you. And you will not like if your friend or relative cribs about your non-payment to her in front of others harming your reputation.
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Suppose if you ask for monetary help from your friend or relative and they refuse then never dig in that matter. They may have reasons for doing so. Maybe they are saving up for something or paying credit. And their refusal to lend you money should not affect your future relationship with them. No one is obligated to help you each time you approach.
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Never try to teach others even if your intentions are to help them. You may know how to save money and invest it but your advice will be appreciated only if it is asked for. Never challenge others decisions regarding money. Even if you are right you will be confusing the person more.
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You can approach your immediate family to donate money to every fundraiser activity you do. But asking your friends and distant relative to shell money more than twice a year for every cause can irritate them. Ask the causes that interest them and approach only for those. Let people be free to donate the amount they want rather than asking for a certain amount.
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A simple thank you is not enough to your friend who pays your restaurant bill or buys a gift on your behalf. If not in monetary terms you should reciprocate your friend in an inexpensive way like sending some homemade goodies or volunteering to babysit so that your friend can watch a movie or invite for dinner or gift a photo album of her lovely memories.
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“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like”. – Will Rogers. Never boast your luxurious life in front of people who cannot afford it. It will make them feel inferior and miserable. They may be happily planning their trip to some home destination but your boasting will steal their excitement.
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