Although on your first date you would prefer keeping your best foot forward, there are some subtle hints about your partners’ fetishes which can surface in between conversations. If you have always been a tidy and neat person and the partner hints at his messy lifestyle, (like how his kitchen sink is full of dishes which he does over the weekend), that may be a deal breaker for you. Psychologist Ryan Howes explains if your partner is a tidy person and you are messy, then you both will have a problem. Such inherent lifestyles are usually hard to change and will create serious problems later on.
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Your relation with your parents and siblings (unless you have a seriously dysfunctional family) shows the longevity you might have with your partner as well. If you are too influenced by your parent’s ideas about your relationship, then disaster awaits you. On the other extreme your relationship should not consume you completely to lose all touch with your immediate family and be distant. A bad family relationship proves mental instability. It is indicative of people who lack the ability to remain in any long-term relationship because of their unwillingness to compromise.
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Yes, it’s definitely a curve ball to throw at your first date but it’s crucial. In fact, you could ask an equally difficult question. The question was just an example. You do not need to be blunt but can casually bring up the topic. With all politeness stir the conversation away from all banal stuff like work or weather. Instead, focus on such questions and you will find how relaxing people can get when allowed to express their true hidden thoughts and concerns. It will make the conversation much more warm and honest if not even emotional. In fact, this was an experiment carried out by Psychologist Dan Ariely which turned out likewise as mentioned above. Make sure if you are the one firing the questions, be open and nonjudgmental. Also be prepared to answer similar questions.
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