The place where we live reveals about us. The layout of its interior says a lot about the ability of the couple to produce a harmonious common space, respectful of the individuality of each other, but also suitable for children. What about your home?
Does your home suit your needs and tastes?
Are there anything in the common space (furniture, objects) imposed by the partner that you cannot stand?
If you were to live alone, would the decoration of your home be radically different or substantially the same?
In what points does your home match your relationship?
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10The time dedicated to the couple
To unfold and strengthen, intimacy needs time. But in reality, the time that should be devoted to the couple is often sacrificed for the benefit of family, work, friends and entertainment. Patrick Estrade is used to telling couples that he thinks that their relationship should be thought of as a priority if they want to make it more harmonious, closer to their ideal. Is this the case with you? These questions will help you measure the gap between your desires and reality:
Do you often postpone a couple project (going out, traveling, spending time together at home) because of an obstacle or constraint from outside?
Do you feel that you lack quality time in your relationship?
Do you and your partner give you "everyone for themselves" time?
If you had more quality time to spend together, how would you spend it?
Are the house chores distributed in a way that satisfies everyone?
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11Test your satisfaction
In terms of physical intimacy, each couple writes their score, following their own tempo. Regardless of how frequent or how many physical relations last, only the satisfaction of each one and the ability of the couple to communicate about any desires. We offer you these questions:
Is the frequency of your physical intercourses satisfying for you?
Do you feel desired and respected during these sessions?
Do you (sometimes, often, all the time, ever) feel bored?
Do you consent (sometimes, often, always, never) to make love only to please your partner?
Do you (often, sometimes, all the time, never) do certain actions only to please or because of the pressure from your partner?
Ideally, would you like to make changes to your couple's sexuality? If yes, which ones?
Do you feel complicit with your partner if you talk to him about making love?
Overall, would you say that your intimacy is satisfactory or problematic?
If everyone goes on like it is now, would you say that everything is fine or something is missing?
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12Identify your common desires
One of the difficulties: finding the common ground between duet projects and solo projects. We want you to think about it through the following questions:
Do you have at least one common project (holidays, decoration, entertainment, work, family)? If not why?
Is this project recurrent, because it became a habit? If so, do you still enjoy it?
Do you find your partner sufficiently invested in the future of your relationship? What about you?
Is it always the same person who launches important projects in your couple? If so, is it okay with you?
Are your project ideas for the couple generally well received by your partner?
Does your partner support your personal projects in a positive way?
After exploring your feelings, your communication, your intimacy, your projects, ask yourself these subsidiary questions:
Were you surprised by a positive aspect of your relationship that you were not aware of?
Were you surprised by a negative aspect?
Has your partner also answered all these questions? If not why?
At this point, what do you feel: enthusiasm or worry? What are they related to?