49 Questions To Explore Your Relationship

By Saif Abdellaoui, 2 May 2018

5Digital communication, analog communication

If the human communication is fundamentally complex, it is because we use two processes, which complement each other without ever being confused: the digital communication (the words, subjects that can be interpreted) and the analogical communication (the tone, gestures, body language). In the couples who get along, speech and mimicry are easily decoded. In contrast, couples who do not get along, misunderstandings and misconceptions abound.

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6Missed communication

Added to these difficulties are what the psychiatrist calls the communication blocking( everyone wants to express their point of view while having the feeling of not being understood or not listened to), or even the communicational dishonesty (concealments, diplomatic lies, bad faith, misinformation).

To observe how you speak, we propose the following questions:

  1. Are you satisfied with the communication in your relationship?
  2. Do you feel that you understand your partner and you are also being understood?
  3. Do you think there are significant gray areas, topics that are difficult or impossible to communicate?
  4. Did you ever voluntarily conceal from your partner some of your actions and some of your thoughts?
  5. Did you ever lie to him deliberately?
  6. Do you think your partner is capable of hiding or even lying?
  7. Has any of you ever been confronted with the revelation of a deliberate lie of one or the other?
  8. If yes, how did you handle this situation?

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7Measure your distance

The intimacy is at the same time a feeling, a space (the house, the room) and a time (the one that the couple devote in order to "be together").

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8The feeling of intimacy

Being intimate with your partner, feeling confident, supported and accepted as you are, we invite you to study the concept of the good distance in the couple, which we summarize as: "Close enough to be moved by the other, far enough to be surprised by him.” And we propose these following questions:

  1. Do you feel (really) listened to by your partner?
  2. And you, do you really listen to him?
  3. Do you regularly discuss what moves you, makes you laugh, excites you, or bothers you?
  4. Do you feel that your small quirks are greeted with kindness/humor by the other? Is it the same when you greet the small quirks of your partner?
  5. Are there any thoughts, facts or behaviors that you keep for yourself or share with others so as not to slow down the seduction in your relationship?
  6. Is your partner's familiarity (gestures, words, behaviors) a source of tenderness or annoyance and conflict?

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