Exploitation takes place in many forms. Most often we may not acknowledge it due to different reasons. What we term as service can at times easily be termed as exploitation. Just that we tend to let emotions cloud our vision. One can get exploited by family, friends, relatives, neighbors, boss, colleagues etc. People that are gullible are usually good-natured and kind which is why they fall into this trap easily. Wouldn’t it be helpful if you knew about the different kinds of exploitation that are meted out to people? We have compiled a list that can help you identify them and take the necessary actions.
When in a relationship, understanding the financials clearly is of paramount importance. Each partner must be clear as to what bills fall under his/her purview. Sometimes it may so happen that one partner might have to foot all the bills of a month due to the other partners inability to do so. But if this becomes routine, then they may be undergoing financial exploitation under the pretext of scarcity of funds. Ideally, both partners should divide the bills amongst each other to ensure smooth functioning.
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While being independent is a blessing, it can sometimes burden you no end. Every couple sets its own rules. But there are some partners that either like taking decisions by themselves or leave it to the other partner to shoulder the responsibility. Not consulting the other partner and forcing decisions on them is also a kind of exploitation. Similarly, expecting the other partner to take all decisions and refraining from using one’s own mind is also not right. The couple should discuss and take a joint decision.
Life can get cumbersome if you are the only one running errands and tackling all chores. If you find your partner relaxing while you are slogging it away, as a routine, then it’s time you woke up to the fact that you are being exploited. If your partner does not feel the need to help you (unless he is ill or busy with something), know that he is being selfish.
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Entertaining can work as a stress buster only when both partners agree to host their guests. If you’re just back from work and find half a dozen uninvited guests (for you) waiting for dinner, it can get quite stressful. Though you might end up doing your bit, it may not exactly be a happy affair.
If your partner borrows stuff from you without taking your consent, know that he has taken you for granted. While it somewhat okay to lend your favorite things, it is certainly not right to pick up your stuff without asking you. Some of them don’t even bother returning them and even if they do, the item would be in bad shape.
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There is a time and place for everything. If you find your partner embarrassing you in public by either correcting you by yelling, reprimanding or mocking, he is insensitive. He may not care much for you which is why he would be indulging in public humiliation.
In a relationship, it is very important for both partners to accept each other as they are. This does not include abuse or bad behavior. If your partner ends up comparing you with someone else all the time, know that he is either trying to make you insecure, unsure about your self-worth or that he may no longer be interested in you. Trying to bring about a change is okay when there is no deliberate comparison.
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If your partner expects you to justify your actions while he/she refuses to do the same, it can be that you are being exploited. Dominating behavior Is about forcing others to comply with one’s own views and can be quite unpleasant to deal with.
If your partner forces physical intimacy on you when you don’t feel like it, it says a lot about his love and respect for your feelings. It is not right to demand things out of a partner. This kind of a behavior is more about control in a relationship. It could also be an obsession. If it has become an addiction, it is best to seek the help of a therapist.
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Mood swings can be quite tough to handle in a relationship as the behavior and feelings are inconsistent. It keeps changing from moment to moment. People facing mood swings tend to portray happiness, anger, and sadness, all within a short time span. It becomes difficult to keep up with this kind of changing behavior. Just when things seem to be going good, they would become sad and in a short time angry. There are usually no triggers of the given moment which could give rise to these changed feelings. When the mood swings worsen and is beyond one’s control, it is time to seek the services of a therapist to address the issue.’
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In a relationship, both partners need to contribute for things to move smoothly. If one partner takes credit for good things and blames, the other for failures, then it is exploitation. Putting someone down, labeling them as useless or blaming them for failures are signs of exploitation. You must strongly object to this.
Altercations are a part of every relationship. But if it reaches a point where a partner threatens to leave you for every small argument that you both have, it is not healthy for your relationship. It can’t be that only partner makes mistakes and the other is perfect. Threatening to leave is a sign of putting you in the spot, feeling vulnerable, helpless so that you agree to their demands. Disputes should be settled in an amicable manner. Those that threaten to leave may already be emotionally distant in the relationship and looking to walk out.
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Getting you to comply to their demands by resorting to doing something that could hurt you can be called an emotional blackmail. People resort to this to take the control in their hands. They wish to call the shots while the other partner just follows them. Your partner tells you that there is a show this weekend and you both need to attend it. You are busy during this weekend and cannot go with him. Upon hearing this, your partner looks you in the eye and states that he would be spending time with his friends every weekend as they accommodate him better. This could leave you in a fix as you don’t want that to happen. You are being made to choose between going with him or turning in some assignment late which could anger your boss. Your partner enjoys the dilemma you are in as it gives him a sense of control over you. If you find yourself giving in too often to such unreasonable demands, know that you are being exploited by your partner.
If your partner resorts to using your kids against you, he is not only spoiling the peace and harmony at home but also abusing the kids. Children are like a clean slate, they are made to learn whatever is written over it. If your partner talks ill about you to your kids and asks them to convey his hurtful messages to you, it is exploitation. He has taken you and the kids for granted. If he threatens to harm the kids if you don’t give in to his demands, it is exploitation.
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If you find your partner keeping in touch with your friends more than usual and you find them avoiding you or joining your partner in mocking you, it is certain that you are being exploited. He has no business to do that! You must quickly identify his intentions and act fast. No one that loves another would ever do such a thing. Exploitation takes place right in front of you, day after day and you may find yourself unable to object to it strongly, due to reasons. Well, whatever those might be, it is very wrong to subject yourself to torture when you can very well set yourself free from it.
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