The second kind of love is called “Hard Love,” and this will be the one that hurts. Many people’s first love teaches them enough to think they know what they’re getting themselves into, but not enough to be content. It can even be harmful in some situations.
According to Rose- “We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.”
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The divorce rate suggests that many people marry a second time around only to learn the hard way that it’s not a good fit for both of them later in life. Rose referred to these relationships as “the love we wished was right,” and many people stay in them longer than they should.
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There’s a third kind of love, and people can find it at any age, even well into their later adult lives. This will be the one to last, provided both partners put in equal effort to understand and fully cooperate with each other.
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Third love may be a metaphor for your genuine love, whether they arrive third or 23rd in a long line of romantic relationships. This third love happens when you least expect it - either as a result of you giving up looking for a romantic partner or in the form of a person you never imagined you’d fall for.
As Rose puts it, this kind of love “usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are. We are just simply accepted for who we are already…”
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