Although Cancer is one of the largest killers in the US, there are thousands who are yet to absorb in the risks of lifestyle and diet that contribute to various cancers. The biggest problem is awareness where only those care if they have had a tryst with the dreaded disease, either by contracting it themselves or living with a loved one afflicted with cancer. Now Nancy Borowick 28 a humanitarian photographer and a graduate in Anthropology and Photography from Union College brings to you photographs of the most heartfelt and endearing moments of what it’s like to live with those who have cancer. In this case her own parents.
Nancy’s book The Family Imprint is based on the cancer family project in which she shares photographs of her own parents Laurel and Howie who were both diagnosed with cancer. The disease was terminal and they didn’t have long left. Nancy then documented their last days in a series of 5000 photographs which she knew would be a poignant memory kept for the rest of her life. This is the paradox of cancer. It brings families closer even as it threatens to tear them apart. The photographs were taken in Nancy’s home where she grew up and are extremely intimate.
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Nancy’s mother struggled with breast cancer for 18 years. It became part of their daily life. Ultimately her dad too was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the chances of him around long being slim. She never expected him to last as long as he did.
Nancy’s mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1979. The disease was in remission but reared up again in 2009. That’s when Nancy returned to love with them in Chappaqua New York
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The photographs show both Nancy’s parents trying to live normal lives even as cancer slowly eats them away. You can feel the sense of love and intimacy in all of the photos which are heartwarming and tear jerking too.
Nancy’s father Howie was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer. Both parents were in their 50’s. “When my father was diagnosed, she turned her focus to him, while she also cared for herself,” Borowick said. “She was superhuman in many ways, but as one of her daughters, I felt like it was my duty to step up and support because she always put others before herself.”
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Nancy says her parents were fun to be with especially her mother who never really wanted to burden anyone with her disease
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Sometimes it got tough and a bit overwhelming for the duo but they would draw their strength from each other which is what helped them to get by. They were also dependent on each other in case one had problems.
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This was on Nancy’s wedding day where Jewish tradition requires parents of the bride to be lifted on chairs during the Hora.
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It was painful at times but Nancy’s mom always remained strong throughout the ordeal taking care of her husband even as she battled terminal breast cancer
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Nancy’s parents never ever shied away from the camera. Perhaps in their heart, they knew that this would be the only physical memories living on with their daughter and she needed that. Some may feel that it isn’t right but think of it, how many times we take photos of the family posing for photos but it’s the natural photos captured of endearing moments that will freeze a memory which you can always turn to for bring back nostalgic moments.
They were always there for each other. In this photograph, Howie is seen cutting Laurels hair
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Nancy’s photos, however, are a testimony to her parents struggle with cancer and it will definitely bring a lot of awareness of what the disease can do to people.
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In this image, Howie was just recovering from a collapsed lung and a possible pneumonia diagnosis.
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This was during the first night of Hanukkah when Howie was in the hospital. Nancy’s mom brought the family to the hospital to celebrate the event with talking and singing even as Howie was being administered medication.
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Nancy’s parents loved each other till the end. This is one of the most beautiful photographs in the collection that reflects their raw and naked vulnerability but all they can do is hug each and that is their only strength.
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Howie Borowick didn’t last longer than his wife Laurel. He succumbed to the disease in Dec 2013, just a year after his diagnosis. He requested that he be buried in his favorite Giants football jersey, a pair of jeans and his HB baseball cap.
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In her project, Nancy writes that Howie never expected to live that long and he wrote his own eulogy which he had left in an envelope at home and gave instructions that it should be opened after his death.
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Nancy’s mother was a strong woman who always fought her disease in the most dignified manner possible. Breast cancer can be a killer disease if not diagnosed in time.
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In this photograph, Laurel is being changed into clean clothing by daughter Jessica, Paul her son in law and Evalina her caregiver. This was taken in December 2014.
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This is what Nancy’s mom had to say “If cancer is what gets me, so be it. I already feel I have lived a pretty lucky life. I loved my parents. I love my siblings. I love my husband."
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The worst thing to do to a cancer patient is make him feel helpless. Treat them normally like every member of the family. Laugh with them cry with them but never weaken their spirit to live every last moment of life.
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The cancer family project drew Nancy closer to her parents she says. She would often read to her mother and was always there giving her that love and support in her last days of her life.
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Nancy described the entire two years as a surreal experience for her. Perhaps it might have just flown by and the fact that her parents are no more would make her all the more think if life was just a dream.
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No one likes talking about death but it is such scenes like this that helps us to truly understand the value of life the gift of “once in a lifetime’ is even more profound than humans could ever imagine, yet we never really value relationships and the good things of life that come once in a lifetime. We use life for hurt, war, fights in families, and every possible negativity there is.
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Just a day before the anniversary of her Husband’s death, Laurel passed away. She had gone to join Howie for eternity. Nancy described how everyone watched laurel’s chest as her breathing got more faint. When the doctor finally checked her pulse it was gone, there were tears of sadness and exhaustion all around, even tears of relief filling the bedroom that fateful afternoon.
This recalls to mind the exact same feeling just 8 years ago when me and my family were gathered around my father’s hospital bed holding his hand and watching the heart monitor as it beeped fainter and fainter and his chest movements grew less prominent till the beeping was heard no more. He died of gall bladder cancer three months after he was diagnosed in 2009. I know exactly what this moment felt like.
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Her body was wrapped in white and strapped to a stretcher as she was carried away. This was a depressing moment for me and I know how a reader would be reacting too but this is what we can do to create awareness of a disease that kills just because we pass off the little changes in our bodies thinking it to be a minor malady.
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Not only can it be a traumatic ordeal for all, this is the face of cancer for a patient who has to keep track of an umpteen number of medicines.
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Perhaps Nancy had her own reasons for doing this. It was her way of wanting to remember her parents. She made three decisions about the project. That it would be in black and white, she wanted only content, no lights or distractions, and she decided to disassociate herself and shoot as if shooting strangers.
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Nancy wanted to take the photographs as a neutral witness to the last years of their life together.
“I forgot they were my parents and then I realized there was a lot I was seeing; the situation was happening because they were sick, but to me, the story was more about their relationship with each other, and our family, and love and understanding. I realized many stories of those with cancer focus entirely on the one who is sick but I found that our story was also about our whole family, as everyone felt the diagnosis.” She has finally published her book “the Family Imprint” about the cancer family.
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This is what most people feel who have lost their parents and it proves that families make a home without which it is just a house. That is what Nancy said “it was no longer a family home” it was just a house with four walls. It may only become a home again with a new family who will make their own new memories.
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