You may have a world of problems managing home, work and financial problems. It does not give you a reason to regard your kid’s problems as trivial regardless of whether they may seem so at the moment. It is, of course, easier said than done when you are all stressed out, but if you ignore your child, it is you who will feel bad later on.
Children derive their security from parents and though you may think, you don’t matter in your child’s life; it is a parent whom the child will turn to as a last resort when it’s something they can’t handle. Parents usually behave contradictorily in such matters. We may feel sorry for our children and want to teach them the right thing but invariably we end up saying things like “I told you so”. Most moms often tend to get nervous in such situations and become judgmental even in their advice. This is what distances a child further.
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Never underestimate a child’s worries and problems and always be close to them. Allow them to cry and make them feel that their problems are just as important and can be worked out together. Discuss a problem by analyzing it with your child to derive a practical solution.
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When you sit with your children and discuss hypothetical situations, books, films or even their own cartoons, you encourage the child to express their own opinions and perspectives. However, the way to do this is to ensure a calm environment and the child’s willingness to discuss such topics.
Here’s an example: Andrea has started fighting too often, do you have an idea why she is doing that? Do you think her parents can help? Parents should remember that discussions based on imaginary topics shouldn’t always return to reality situations as your child wills soon wisen up. If your child relates to the situation, they will start thinking on it without any references or insinuations. If you shift the nature of a discussion, it destroys that magical situation of communication.
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Parents should be the one to teach children to have a sense of humor and that humor can help diffuse situation and make difficult situations easier to cope with.
Comical parodies, toys that talk or laughing with them over a funny cartoon can create a jovial atmosphere for any family. Acting out child-like fantasies, playing pirates etc can also give your child a sense of creativity and imagination. There are many parent-child problems that can be resolved with humor but always keep it light and don’t go overboard. Mind you children can sense bantering and sarcasm so avoid that.
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Don’t go telling your child not to do something. Instead, frame your instruction in a positive manner. If you want your child to walk on the pavement instead of the road, don’t say “don’t walk on the road” Instead, say “walk on the pavement because it’s safer”
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