15 Phrases Children Say That Are Code Words For ‘I Am Anxious’

By Nitin Bhatnagar, 30 May 2018

There are times when adults find it difficult to express their feelings in a definitive manner so it is quite understandable that kids might also be facing the problem of communicating effectively. It is the responsibility of adults of the family to keep a check on the kids and observe them as they may be showing symptoms which indicate that the children are feeling anxious.

These symptoms may be in the form of nervousness, shyness, irritation, fatigue etc. As per statistics, nearly 25% kids of the age group 13-18 years suffer from anxiety which doesn’t get treated and as a result, they suffer with anxiety as grown-ups also. However, if parents pay attention, they will observe that their kids are trying to share their anxiety with them in form of some phrases.

Here are 15 phrases which indicate that your kid is saying “I am anxious”:

1I don’t feel good/I don’t feel well:

There’s no denying the fact that kids might not feel well at times due to cold, fever or some other medical issues. However, if your child is constantly saying, “I don’t feel good” in several particular situations, pay more attention and try to observe if something is not right with him. Make an attempt to know more from the child whether there’s some problem in school or he is stressed because of exams, study or stage performance. 

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2I want to stay home/Can’t we stay home?

Children generally prefer to go out and have fun in either a park or garden and immerse in various entertaining activities. But if your child wants to stay home, it’s high time to observe him and try to find out if something is wrong. When kids like to be in quiet places away from noise or fun things, anxiety may be a reason of this. It also indicates that they are not comfortable while mixing with people and are having problem in adjusting to change. 

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3My body is uncomfortable:

Your child may say this phrase even if you feel that everything is alright with him. It is an indication of physical and emotional anxiety and at times, kids are not able to make out whether they have any physical issue or their discomfort is related to mental health. There’s also a probability that they might consider both these different problems as the same. 

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4I’m tired:

Does your kid say “I am tired” when you ask him to go to play or do something? Children are supposed to be active, energetic and playful but if they complain of being tired most of the time, parents need to be careful as anxiety could be a cause of this and it ultimately results in fatigue. 

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5Don’t leave me/Please stay:

It’s quite natural for kids to be attached with their parents; however, if they request parents not to leave them even for short duration or stay with them whenever parents are required to go out, they might be suffering from separation anxiety. They can also have the fear of being abandoned or left with somebody else. 

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6Don’t make me go/do it:

If children use this phrase quite often, for instance, when you ask them to go to school or at someone’s house, this clearly shows the signs of anxiety in them. They are trying to avoid a particular place or work and this usually happens for school as kids may want to escape a class or some test or the issue may be bigger than what you perceive it to be. 

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7Is it time to leave yet?/I want to go home:

Does your child often ask for how long he needs to stay with you at someone else’s home or in a party and insist to go home back? Boredom or tiredness may be among its reasons but we can’t ignore the essential fact that the kid might not be comfortable while interacting with strangers. What’s more, children who suffer from anxiety don’t feel good at a party and keep on asking their parents to go home as soon as possible. 

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8What is wrong with me?

Anyone can be dubious about oneself; however, if this happens on a regular basis and that too with kids, it’s certainly a thing to worry about. When your child often says, “what is wrong with me”, there’s a strong possibility that he is anxious. It also indicates insecurity and a probable reason of this is external pressure. 

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9I am sorry!

Parents try their best to instill manners in their kids and it is considered polite to apologize. However, when your child apologizes over and over again and that too when it’s actually not needed, be alarmed as all is not well with him. Kids usually don’t like to say sorry and if you notice them saying it repeatedly, it may be because of anxiety. Overuse of ‘sorry’ is a sign of insecurity and nervousness when a child does something wrong and is afraid of getting punished. 

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10Keep the light on in the hallway/Can you turn on the hallway light for me at night?

Many kids and even some adults fear from dark and it’s quite normal; however, if your child has nightmare about it, you need to be serious. If there is a nightlight in the kid’s room but still he insists for keeping the hallway light on, there are chances of him suffering from sleep anxiety. 

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11I don’t want to do it:

Does your kid try to avoid even minimal interaction with other people or give an excuse of not going anywhere? Well if so, social anxiety can be a cause of this due to which people prefer to be alone. Children can’t express a number of things properly and hence they say, “I don’t want to..” In some cases, kids can’t adjust with any change in their usual routine and if they are asked to try something new, they get stressed out and don’t wish to do it. 

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12I have a headache:

‘I have a headache’ or any other similar phrase shows that the kid is making an excuse as he is unwilling to go somewhere or do something. A reason of it is unfavorable outcome and this mostly happens in the case of school. Not all the kids love school, especially when they have the fear of bullying, a test or punishment. To escape the unpleasant situation, kids make excuses of health issues. Nevertheless, if this increases a lot, you need to be more attentive as it’s also one of the signs of anxiety. 

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13You do it:

You must have observed that even some adults find it difficult to place orders, make appointments or do anything which involves interaction with strangers or opposite genders. This is a type of social anxiety and kids also suffer from it. Resultantly, they often ask parents or anyone they know to do something on their behalf. 

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14I feel really sad and I don’t know why/Just lots of tears

When kids are very anxious, they might feel sad and it won’t be a thing of surprise if they are not able to tell its reason. Tears are also common in case of extreme anxiety so if your child cries or feels sad too often without any reason, you need to be alert as he is suffering from anxiety. 

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15I can’t sleep/I don’t want to go to bed

If your child is repeatedly saying any of the two phrases, it means that something is troubling him. It may be a school test or bullying from some classmate. This may also indicate a kid’s inability to sleep alone and he might wish to get your company as children get a sense of security and protection with parents. 

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If your kid uses these phrases, there are high chances that he is suffering from anxiety and you need to take necessary steps to get their problems resolved as soon as possible so that they don’t have unpleasant memories of childhood and can focus more on their work.


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