This is what Felitti felt. On reflecting on the research Hari asks why is it people who face violent experiences in childhood feel in a similar fashion. Why do such problems lead to self-destruction, obesity, addiction or even suicide? He says “I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. I have a theory – though I want to stress that this next part is going beyond the scientific evidence discovered by Felitti and the CDC, and I can’t say for sure that it’s true.”
Hari felt that as a child experiencing a traumatic incident, one has two choices. Admit that you were powerless over the situation because you could have been badly hurt or simply blame yourself saying it’s your fault. Yes!! You heard right, blame yourself. Because by doing so you gain power in your mind. Once you admit it’s your fault, you gain the power to make it different simply because you are in control of yourself. “You have your hands on the dangerous levers.”
Just as obesity protected the women from the men’s advances, by blaming yourself for a childhood trauma, that protects you from viewing your own vulnerability at the moment. “If it’s your fault, it’s? at some strange level ? under your control.”
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Felitti felt that if depression is caused by factors of our early life, then medication for depression wouldn’t be such a good idea although it should not be stopped. Felitti also found that just discussions about the traumatic incidents with authority figures such as family doctors led to a decrease in every case of depression. In fact, there was a 35 % reduction in the requirement for medical care in the following year after the research. For those who needed extensive help, there was a reduction of more than 50%.
One elderly woman who had been raped as a child wrote back to Felitti Thank you for asking ... I feared I would die, and no one would ever know what had happened.” “The act of releasing your shame is – in itself – healing. So I went back to people I trusted, and I began to talk about what had happened to me when I was younger. Far from shaming me, far from thinking it showed I was broken, they showed love, and helped me to grieve for what I had gone through.”
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