13 Ways to Cope with Loving Someone You Can’t Have nor Let Go

By Andrew Alpin, 14 July 2022

People often say that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but whoever said that clearly doesn’t know what they’re talking about. They probably have never experienced head over heels in love with someone they knew they could never be with. So, how does loving someone you can’t have or let go feel like? Many people are in this situation, but to love someone and not be able to be with them is too much.

As you try to hide your feelings from this person, it gets harder and harder to be around them. You do everything you can to hide how you feel, but you can’t help but hope they do too. So, you’d rather have them in your life in some way than not have them at all. Here are some ways to deal with emotional attachment if you find yourself in this situation.

1 Don’t contact them too often

Some people can’t imagine life without them, while others want to avoid them to ease the pain. What you should do depends on how you feel and where you are in your life. The best thing to do is to avoid them and leave. Suppose they become available or interested in you one day. In that case, you might be able to think about how you feel about them again. If not, don’t let yourself think about things that hurt you.

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2 Stop pretending you’re okay

You don’t have to act like you’re fine if you’re not. If this pain has been going on for months or even years, it can be very tiring. You no longer have to put on a fake smile. If something hurts you, tell them. For example, you should decline if you’re in love with a friend who wants to take you shopping so that he can pick out a ring to propose to his girlfriend. Don’t put yourself in places where your feelings will be hurt. Turn down the invite and tell them why.

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3 Avoid situations that will hurt you

When you know the person you like will be at a certain place, you should try to stay away from it. If you go anyway, it’s like killing yourself emotionally. Just say no to any invitations where they will be there as well. You could binge-watch a new show or go on a date with someone whose heart is open to you to take your mind off things.

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4 Avoid them on social media without blocking or unfriending them

There are limits and restrictions on your social media accounts for a reason. You can take a break from someone on Facebook without getting rid of them as friends. The last thing you want to see on your feed is their posts when you’re trying to deal with your feelings.

This is especially true if they brag about how much they love their partner online. It’s hard to love someone but not have them, but you don’t have to follow their path to happiness if it doesn’t include you. You can ignore their posts or make it hard for them to see what’s on your feed. You’ll be glad you did this, especially when you won’t have to remember how bad it hurt every time they post. Checking on someone you care about on social media can become a habit, so it’s best to stop making your pain worse. Besides, they don’t have to know everything that’s happening in your life either.

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5 Write down how you feel in a journal or diary

You want to scream from the rooftops how much you love this person. It’s too bad that it’s not always the best choice or even a choice. The best thing you can do to deal with how you feel about this person is to write about it in a journal. Write down everything you’re feeling; it will help you feel much better. It’s hard to deal with love that isn’t returned, but little things like this can help.

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6 Work up the courage to tell them how you feel

If you haven’t told this person you love them yet, it might be time to rip off the Band-Aid and tell them everything and see what they say. It’s better to talk about things than to walk around with all the questions unanswered. Maybe they love you too. It’s torture to love someone but not know how they feel. No matter what happens, things need to be said. Get ready for a total meltdown if things don’t go how you want them to. Once that line is crossed, it’s hard to go back.

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7 Take time to feel sorry for yourself

It’s okay to be upset if you really like someone, but they don’t feel the same way. Give yourself a certain amount of time to feel bad about it. It’s better to give your feelings a time limit than to be sad all day. You could give yourself 30 minutes a day to feel sorry for yourself. Bring out all your crying, yelling, and feeling sorry for yourself. Then, when the time is up, go on with your day.

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8 Have fun with friends

Being in love with someone you can’t be with is torture, but you can make yourself feel better by having fun with your friends. Get close to people who care about you and love you. Go out, have a few drinks, go to a concert, and enjoy life to the fullest. There’s nothing that says you have to stop living just because your heart is broken.

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9 Find some new things to do

Getting involved in things that interest you, like a hobby you always wanted to take up, is a great way to get over a love that wasn’t returned. Why don’t you join a bowling team or a fitness class? The key is to keep yourself busy so you don’t have much time to think about how broken your heart is.

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10 Add some spice to your love life

Love is a great feeling, but moving on with someone is the only way to get over someone else. It’s a great journey through life to fall in love with someone. Stop wasting your time on someone who isn’t ready for a relationship, either emotionally or physically. Instead, put your time and energy into someone who is.

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11 Be their friend but keep your heart safe

You must be secretly in love with the person if you’ve decided it’s best not to tell them how you feel. But there’s no rule that says you can’t be their friend. You might not be able to get rid of them completely right now. So, do what you can to be a friendly part of their life. No one needs to know how you feel, and you can keep that to yourself.

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12 Write yourself a letter and burn it

An old psychological trick to overcome sadness or anger is to write a letter to yourself about everything that hurt you, then burn the letter. It’s a sign that will help you move on. Say to yourself that you’re sorry you got involved in such a mean game. The important thing is to use this act to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.

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13 Don’t ask questions can hurt your self-esteem or self-confidence

When you finally get the courage to talk to this person about how you feel, you don’t want to put them in a bad situation. For instance, avoid questions like:

These are useless questions; the answers will be hard to give and even harder to get. Don’t ask questions you aren’t ready to answer. You don’t have to beg someone to love you. You want to be with someone who can love you back and is ready, able, and willing to do so.

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